Psychose in der Hose

Wie aus einem kleinen „Ohrenkneifer“ ein großer Elefant wird.

Mein Vater hat mir bei Spaziergängen oder in den Ferien immer viele verborgene Schönheiten der Natur gezeigt und erklärt. Das war für mich unheimlich spannend und schön. Irgendwann hat er mir wohl auch gesagt, dass man in früheren Zeiten glaubte, dass die kleine Insekten, die man Ohrenkneifer, Ohrwürmer, Ohrkäfer nennt, nach dem Glauben früherer Generationen in die Ohren kriechen, und von dort im Gehirn ihre Eier ablegen. So erzählt entsprach es ja als Aberglaube durchaus der Wahrheit. Für Mich war es jetzt aber unumstößliche Wahrheit im Hier und Jetzt. Was mein Vater erzählt hatte, war doch immer grundsätzlich wahr.
Da hatte ich jetzt aber dann doch etwas Probleme damit: Immer ,wenn Sich meine halbwüchsigen Klassenkameraden bewusst cool mit einen Strohhalm im Mundwinkel in das frisch abgemähte Gras in den Wiesen fallen ließen, sich die Sonne auf den noch schmächtigen Oberkörper brennen ließen und dabei den Strohhalm wie eine gedachte Zigarette mit zwei abgespreizten Fingern aus dem Mund nahmen, um dann in bester Schauspielermanier einen tiefen Zug aus dem Halm zu nehmen. Nur schwer konnte ich vor so viel Männlichkeit bestehen: „ Mein Vater hat gesagt, die „Ohrwuisler“ können Dir ins Ohr kriechen…“ „Schwachsinn!“ wurde prompt gekontert. Das schien auch unsere ebenso jugendlichen Begleiterinnen überzeugt zu haben. Ohne Zögern ließen sie sich mit einem kaum hörbaren hellen Seufzer zwischen die Jungs plumpsen, ganz ohne wie üblich auf Ihre reinweiße und sicher sau-teure Garderobe zu achten…. und ich war draußen am Weg kalt gestellt.
„Wusstet Ihr, dass Elefanten sogar Angst vor Mäusen haben, die Ihnen in Ihren langen Rüssel kriechen könnten“, versuchte ich hintenrum meine ablehnende Haltung noch irgendwie aus dem ärgsten Schlamassel heraus zu retten. „ Pass nur auf dass Dir nicht noch gleich eine Maus in deine Hose kriecht und Dir Deinen kleinen Pullermann anknabbert“ Da wurde ich rot und versuchte mein Unwohlsein mit ein paar seltsam anmutenden ungelenken Körperschlenkern zu verbergen, die irgendwelche Tanzbewegungen darstellen sollten und es mir erlauben sollten, mich und mein Gesicht schnell in die andere Richtung aus den Blicken heraus zu drehen. Kaum hatte ich gemerkt - oder bildete ich mir das nur ein- dass mich auch dieses Gebahren eher lächerlich machte, als irgendwie vor der Gemeinschaft reinwaschen konnte, da war es mit der Selbstachtung erst recht vorbei. „Wie ein Elefant im Porzelanladen“ hatte ich mich lächerlich gemacht, schnell den Gedanken herumdrehen!: „ Elefanten gelten in Asien als sehr mutige Tiere und auch als sehr weise! Wahrscheinlich sind sie so klug, gerade weil sie es wissen, wann sie vor einem anderen Tier zu sehr im Nachteil sind und dann verlegen sie sich lieber auf Fähigkeiten, mit denen sie trumpfen können“, trumpfte ich auf, um in das Schweigen hinein nachlegen zu können:“ „Mein Papa hat gesagt, das ist immer eine Frage des Standpunktes und des richtigen Überblickes, ob man klug ist, eine Frage der Perspektive!“
Da meine Klassenkameraden gerade dabei waren, aus zu probieren, wer es länger aushielt, ohne Blinzeln in die Augen der Klassenschönen zu starren und dabei ganz ohne Reden und fast ganz ohne Atmen aus zu kommen, war meine Chance gekommen und von der Wegböschung herunter, nahm ich mein jetzt fast wieder ganzes aber insgesamt doch nur ganz wenige Spannlang großes Selbstbewusstsein zusammen und dozierte auf und abschreitend, wie ich es bei unserem Klassenlehrer beim Diktakt gesehen hatte:
„ Mein Papa hat mir mal ein Määärchen erzählt...“, wobei ich den Begriff Märchen betonend dehnte, lauschend ob von den Klassenkameraden gar Wiederspruch und Gelächter käme: „ Es waren vier Blinde, die wollten ein Ding kennenlernen, dass groß und mächtig über Ihnen schwebte. Der eine sagte: Ich fühle dicke feste Säulen, auf denen das Ding zu liegen scheint, als wäre es ein ganzer indischer Tempel für Tier- und Menschenopfer. Der nächste bemerkte ein großes von Schrullen geprägtes Dach wie in einer Erdhöhle, die sich breit nach allen Richtungen über Ihnen erstreckte. Man hat uns hier eingesperrt. Weh uns! Der Dritte erkannte einen langen Schlauch, der stoßweise heiße Luft herausblies. Ich glaube, sie wollen uns wohl vorher alle hier unten noch rösten! Der Letzte aber rief: So kommt doch alle! Vor mir hängt eine Quaste. Sicher ist das ein Seilende, mit dem wir uns nach oben in Sicherheit bringen können . Jetzt kommt doch schnell!
„ So geht Perspektivwechsel und nur wenn Alle Ihre Erfahrungen und Ihr Wissen zusammen legen, dann kommen sie drauf, dass das hier…“ hatte mein Vater mir erklärt, aber davon wollten alle meine Freunde jetzt gerade nichts wissen.

My father always showed and explained many hidden beauties of nature to me on walks or on vacation. That was incredibly exciting and beautiful for me. At some point he probably also told me that in earlier times it was believed that the small insects, which are called earwigs, earwigs, ear beetles, crawl into the ears according to the belief of previous generations, and from there lay their eggs in the brain. As told in this way, it corresponded to the truth as a superstition. But for me it was irrefutable truth in the here and now. What my father had said was always fundamentally true.
But then I had some problems with it: Whenever my teenage classmates deliberately cool with a straw in the corner of their mouth let themselves fall into the freshly mown grass in the meadows, let the sun burn on their still slender upper bodies and the straw at the same time like taking an imaginary cigarette out of your mouth with two spread fingers, and then, in the best actor's manner, took a deep puff from the stem. It was difficult for me to stand up to so much masculinity: "My father said the "Ohrwuisler" can crawl into your ear..." "Bullshit!" was promptly countered. That also seemed to have convinced our equally young companions. Without hesitation they dropped down between the boys with a barely audible deep sigh, completely without, as usual, paying attention to your pure white and certainly extremely expensive wardrobe…. and I was chilled out by the way.
"Did you know that elephants are even afraid of mice that could crawl up their long trunks?" I tried to somehow save my negative attitude from the worst of the mess. "Just make sure that a mouse doesn't crawl into your pants and nibble on your little Willy." I blushed and tried to hide my discomfort with a few strange-looking, awkward body swings that were supposed to represent some kind of dance movement and should allow me to do so to quickly turn me and my face the other way out of the looks. No sooner had I noticed - or was I just imagining it - that this behavior was more likely to make me look ridiculous than it could somehow clear up before the community, when self-respect was really over. "Like an elephant in a china shop" I had made a fool of myself, quickly turning my thoughts around!: "Elephants are considered very brave animals in Asia and also very wise! They're probably smart because they know when they're too much at a disadvantage in front of another animal, and then they'd rather resort to skills that they can trump," I trumped, adding to the silence "My dad said it's always a question of your point of view and the right overview, whether you're smart, a question of perspective!"
Since my classmates were just trying to see who could stand it longer, staring unblinkingly into the eyes of the class beauties and doing so without speaking, my chance had come and off the embankment, I almost took mine again All in all, but only a few spans of great self-confidence together and lectured up and down, as I had seen our class teacher doing the dictation:
"My dad once told me a fairy tale...", whereby I stretched out the term fairy tale, listening to whether my classmates even contradicted me and laughed: "There were four blind people who wanted to get to know something that was big and powerful you floated. One said: I feel thick, solid pillars on which the thing seems to rest, as if it were an entire Indian temple for animal and human sacrifice. The next noticed a large quirky roof like a burrow stretching wide in all directions above you. We've been locked up here, Woe to us! The third spotted a long hose that was blowing hot air in spurts. I think they want to roast us all here first! But the last one called: Come on, everyone! A tassel hangs in front of me. Surely that's a rope end with which we can bring ourselves to safety above . Now come quick!
"This is how a change of perspective works and only if everyone puts their experience and skills together..." my father explained to me, but none of my friends wanted to know anything about it right now.
Like 0 timesMy father always showed and explained many hidden beauties of nature to me on walks or on vacation. That was incredibly exciting and beautiful for me. At some point he probably also told me that in earlier times it was believed that the small insects, which are called earwigs, earwigs, ear beetles, crawl into the ears according to the belief of previous generations, and from there lay their eggs in the brain. As told in this way, it corresponded to the truth as a superstition. But for me it was irrefutable truth in the here and now. What my father had said was always fundamentally true.
But then I had some problems with it: Whenever my teenage classmates deliberately cool with a straw in the corner of their mouth let themselves fall into the freshly mown grass in the meadows, let the sun burn on their still slender upper bodies and the straw at the same time like taking an imaginary cigarette out of your mouth with two spread fingers, and then, in the best actor's manner, took a deep puff from the stem. It was difficult for me to stand up to so much masculinity: "My father said the "Ohrwuisler" can crawl into your ear..." "Bullshit!" was promptly countered. That also seemed to have convinced our equally young companions. Without hesitation they dropped down between the boys with a barely audible deep sigh, completely without, as usual, paying attention to your pure white and certainly extremely expensive wardrobe…. and I was chilled out by the way.
"Did you know that elephants are even afraid of mice that could crawl up their long trunks?" I tried to somehow save my negative attitude from the worst of the mess. "Just make sure that a mouse doesn't crawl into your pants and nibble on your little Pullermann." I blushed and tried to hide my discomfort with a few strange-looking, awkward body swings that were supposed to represent some kind of dance movement and should allow me to do so to quickly turn me and my face the other way out of the looks. No sooner had I noticed - or was I just imagining it - that this behavior was more likely to make me look ridiculous than it could somehow clear up before the community, when self-respect was really over. "Like an elephant in a china shop" I had made a fool of myself, quickly turning my thoughts around!: "Elephants are considered very brave animals in Asia and also very wise! They're probably smart because they know when they're too much at a disadvantage in front of another animal, and then they'd rather resort to skills that they can trump," I trumped, adding to the silence "My dad said it's always a question of your point of view and the right overview, whether you're smart, a question of perspective!"
Since my classmates were just trying to see who could stand it longer, staring unblinkingly into the eyes of the class beauties and doing so without speaking, my chance had come and off the embankment, I almost took mine again All in all, but only a few spans of great self-confidence together and lectured up and down, as I had seen our class teacher doing the dictation:
"My dad once told me a fairy tale...", whereby I stretched out the term fairy tale, listening to whether my classmates even contradicted me and laughed: "There were four blind people who wanted to get to know something that was big and powerful you floated. One said: I feel thick, solid pillars on which the thing seems to rest, as if it were an entire Indian temple for animal and human sacrifice. The next noticed a large quirky roof like a burrow stretching wide in all directions above you. We've been locked up here, Woe to us! The third spotted a long hose that was blowing hot air in spurts. I think they want to roast us all here first! But the last one called: Come on, everyone! A tassel hangs in front of me. Surely that's a rope end with which we can bring ourselves to safety above . Now come quick!
"This is how a change of perspective works and only if everyone puts their experience and skills together..." my father explained to me, but none of my friends wanted to know anything about it right now.