Die Sendung mit der Laus im Pelz – Heute: Why the Onkel NRW-Workminister Gun-tram Schneider has not all cups in the cupbord! (Glosse)

Und that komms so. In the zukunft, we have quatsching english in the Behandlungsraum bei the uncle doctors. I will translate.

The uncle Workminister Gun-tram Cutter, is the Auffassung, that all Patients are Dumpfbacken. Because they have not the Vokabeln of English in their Hirn, wie the doctors from the bull-garien and Rum-änien. Because, they are so beschäftigt, that diese can not lörn ordentlich deutsch. Therfore must the deutsche patient come into the Pötte to learn English, because he have ja sonst nothing zu tun.

So it komms, that an old lady muss have a look into the dictionary brockhouse, damit she understand, what the doctor is quatsching about her Krankheit. For example: Wenn the old lady entert the undersearchingroom, the strange doctor will ask: Can I help? That versteht the old lady noch. She responses: Denn help me mal! The doctor himselbst will not understand german, so he fängs an zu undersearch. By his own Gedanken, him suddenly wird klar, that she is ill and he makes a diagnosis:

The old lady was stolpering with her Rollator and was falling on the Schnauze. Therfore the doctor makes a röntgery. After shave, he komms to a ergebnis. Oh my dear, she has a femoral neck fracture (Schenkelhalsfraktur) und a bruise (Prellung) and a contusion (Quetschung) .

The good old lady is glotzing with big Augen to him and then she answers in the good old Deutsch: “ Isch bin nicht femoral, sondern feminin und necken lass isch mich schon gar nicht. Und dat heißt Brise, lern mal rischtig deutsch, Junge. Und isch habe auch keine contusion, sondern eine Konfusion, weil ich nur Bahnhof verstehe. Wat habe ich denn nun?

And while the uncle doctor ist blättering in his german dictonary, the old lady is fluching humpeling away.