P O W oder 65 Jahre nach D-Day (Internationale Humoreske)*

Für meine Britischen Freunde ist der 2. Weltkrieg ja immer noch nicht zu Ende.
Jetzt habe ich tatsächlich den letzten P O W (Prisoner of War oder Kriegsgefangenen) gefunden und für mh heimlich fotografiert. Guantanamo ist gar nichts dagegen. Der Deutsche wollte doch einen Tunnel graben und entkommen. Seit dem Mauerfall haben die Deutschen aber an Übung verloren. Er wurde ertappt.
Der Lagerkommandant hat dann folgende Tunnel Prozedur veröffentlicht, um weitere Fluchtversuche zu verhindern.

Tunnelling P69

All German (Officers Prisoners) Seismologists are expected to escape from the camp whenever the opportunity arises. Usually this will require the digging of tunnels, this procedure exists to help fulfil the requirements of an effective tunnelling system.

1. All pit props must be colour coded and tested monthly. The appropriate colour codes for the month must be published and distributed throughout the crew disguised as fold-coverage maps.

2. Waste material from the tunnelling process will be disposed of well away from the tunnel entrance. The survey sandbagging area is often a good place to use, and will get you some co-operation from the survey labour. Bavarian style drinking glasses may be used to minimise spillage when transporting small amounts of soil within the tunnel.

3. Eating and drinking in tunnels is strictly verboten. Besides if you are too fat you will never get out again.

4. Protective headgear should be appropriate for the task. Use of the early type of helm with the silly spike on top is not considered sensible nor safe.

5. A stout pair of lederhosen are recommended because of their durability, however they may attract undue attention especially if accompanied by a silly hat with a feather.

6. Prior to entering the tunnel keep your food intake to a minimum (see point 4). It is best however to order lots of food but leave most of it. Ordering 1 mushroom and 2 baked beans for breakfast will doubtless atract the unwanted attention of the (Kamp Kommandant) Party Chief.

7. Make frequent but pointless escape attempts over the wire. This will fool everybody in to believing you are incapable of serious escape activities and, if it really convinces them, your secretive tunnelling will become a source of humour for the gullible English Guards.

8. Do not be tempted to use incorrect materials for the job, Marmite may look and smell like tarmac to a German, but it does not set well and may be eaten by inquisitive guards when you are not looking. If a permanent seal is needed then use one of Erik’s reports as they are very large and completely impenetrable.

9. If you believe you are in danger of being discovered in your tunnelling activities then ask Phillippe Nuisance to publicise it on the crew internal web, that way nobody will ever hear about it ever again.

*Böse Zungen behaupten, dass man in Deutschland immer Humor dazu schreiben muss, wenn man einen Witz macht oder gelacht werden soll